This is a collection of observations taken from real life experiences as told by a PA working in the City of London. Names and firms have been omitted to protect the innocent and the not-so-innocent, and to ensure that she remains professionally credible, and more importantly, in work, for at least the time being.

Click the Pages links to the right to step into her world…

This is a collection of observations taken from real life experiences as told by a PA working in the City of London. Names and firms have been omitted to protect the innocent and the not-so-innocent, and to ensure that she remains professionally credible, and more importantly, in work, for at least the time being…

Whether you agree or not, I assure you, without them, that initial client facing sales meeting you had this afternoon wouldn’t have gone so smoothly: She’s probably primed the client secretary and gleaned all sorts of extra information which has you perfectly pre-positioned. Not only deal-critical stuff, but things like the client being in the doldrums due to last nights footie, and having been out on the lash, is feeling rather worse for wear today.

The words: ‘so whatever you do, don’t do a presentation which is death by PowerPoint, as he’s likely to drop off at any moment, apparently’ is just as essential as any salesy smarm you will muster to your bringing in the dollars by COB, believe me. Not just a pretty face and a pin striped pencil skirt, you see – she wants to help you win it as much as the challenge-grads you have attached to your derriere. Although she would never do anything so low as to kiss arse – no no, indeed, she has far more intelligent powers.

If you don’t agree, you’re probably one of those who take your PA completely for granted. Now, a word of advice: I really wouldn’t if I were you – it could well be your undoing. Keep reading as over the coming articles, I shall demonstrate to you why you should pay for this girl to have a personal account at Selfridges just to keep her on side.

I do remember a particularly expensive afternoon for one director who doled out quite a lot of champagne the day after being a little careless with his extra-curricular activities – cheap crap or not, it bought my support team’s discretion.

Quite frankly, it had to be cheap crap. The bill was still enormous, which will give you an indication of how many bottles ensured the silence of that particular departmental PA harem. I wouldn’t say he was quite caught with his trousers down, but… well. I couldn’t possibly go any further. Surely it would be unethical…?

© City PA – June 2008